Diabetes is a pain for me, I cannot even imagine what it is for Kylee. Having to carry around her bag full of supplies she has to have to survive and then there are the things she has to have in case something goes wrong is just a constant reminder to her that she has it. The "Red Pen" she carries is morbid in itself and something I have an issue with. Its not actually a pen, thats just what we call it. Its actually a glucagon emergancy kit and it contains a syringe filled with fluid and a vial with powdered glucagon in it. See that gray part? Thats the needle cover. Its big. If, God forbid, Kylee were ever to be unconscious the idea is that you mix the fluid in with the powered stuff in the vial, draw it back out and inject it into a muscle. You know that scene in Pulp Fiction when John Travolta jabs that needle into Uma Thurmans chest after she overdoses? I imagine it to be something like that, but in her leg. Im sure its really nothing like that, but that is the scene that comes to mind any time I think about having to ever use it. And as if the injection part wasnt enough fun it self, you have to be sure to immediately roll the person on their side because they will puke. I have an extreme dislike towards this inanimate object. They give it to you in the hospital and tell you how you can stick it through ski pants, jeans, pretty much anything, and how great it is. Dont get me wrong, Im very thankful that we have it as it could save her life, but every time I see it, it just screams of failure and death. And its taped to the side of my fridge. Why? Because it needs to be in a place where everyone can easily get to it and it cant get lost. No problem there, most people who walk though my kitchen ask what it is. Its taped up there along with the log sheet we use to track what her blood sugar is at each meal, how many carbs she is eating, how much insulin she is taking and another sheet that has the signs and symptoms of low blood sugar on it. She takes one with her when she leaves the house and she has another one that stays at school. Knowing its there should give me piece of mind right? Wrong.
2 comments:
Jill....I'm not even sure what to say but it was hard reading your post thru my tears. Diabetes runs in the family with my brother having been affected the most. He never talked about it. Now I understand. So if it's any consolation, your daughter's and the struggle you share with her has helped me understand. I can only hope that things even out for her so that you can both enjoy life a little more and not worry so much. I wish I could give you both a real hug.
(((hugs)))
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